It's Monday morning. In a few hours I'll be walking down to the Bowery to meet my friend, the director Eva Burgess. I've gotten some space at Dixon Place, a little performance art venue downtown, and Eva and I are continuing work on a piece I first started almost ten years ago.
The idea is based upon the novel Peyton Place, written 50 years ago by Grace Metalious. Peyton Place was scandalous when it was released because of its frank portrayal of teen sexuality, and small town vices. It was also one of the earliest American novels to deal with the issue of incest, and because the character of Selena Cross was empowered not to be just a victim, but to act in her own defense, one could argue that Peyton Place was also a precursor to the feminist movement.
We have some resources to begin working with: the novel, a biography of Grace Metalious, several LP's, magazine articles. But I have no idea where we will go in our exploration or what this performance piece will become. I trust Eva implicitly, but it doesn't make it any less scary. Last week, before Eva came on board, I went down to Dixon Place by myself. I was completely self-conscious, aware that the person in the office could hear what I was doing. I felt ashamed to be there somehow, to not know what I was doing, to be completely in the dark with myself. So I just laid on the floor, listened to some music, and scribbled some notes. I have a feeling today will be better. It's so much easier to be foolish in a pair than all alone.
But in a sense, that sense of shame is exactly what this work is about for me. The themes of incest, misuse of power, abuse, and injustice have been the reason I've wanted to embark on this particular exploration. Shame is a very dicey emotion to work with. It's uncomfortable for everyone. It's antithetical to acting.
Grace Metalious died in 1964 (the year I was born) of cirrhosis of the liver. She drank herself to death. At age 39. What shame had taken over her life that led her to such success, and then to such a dismal end? She was hoodwinked by nearly everyone. She never made a dime off either the Hollywood movie or the television series that ran for a decade. And yet, she created a story that entered the American vernacular. I remember my own mother saying things like "It's Peyton Place over there, the way those people live." I didn't know what she meant at the time. Just that Peyton Place was bad, dirty, shameful.
I read on the internet this morning that Sandra Bullock is now starring in a film about Grace Metalious. My first thought was "Figures. Seems every time I embrace an idea, somebody else beats me to it!" But I don't think that's it. I think it has something to do with the vibration of the universe, the great unconscious that speaks to us in whispers, reminding us of the stories that we need to tell. At least that's a more positive spin. Anyway, Sandra Bullock or no Sandra Bullock, I'm moving ahead. It's me and Eva Burgess doing Peyton Place at Dixon Place!
I'll keep you posted as things progress. Happy Monday!
Wayne
