Keep Going

"...that which the ego is most afraid to resemble, is often composed of the images of the violated (castrated) body, the ethnic out-group, and the exploited minority." Erik H. Erikson

The theater is a place for outcasts. Its a breeding ground for non-conformity. To search for evidence of consciousness in the human species is to be a tremendous optimist. To dedicate oneself to a permanent state of transience is an attempt to live only in the present. Rehearsal is seemingly anathema to the art of being in the moment. But rehearsal teaches us only the ritual motions of the proceedings, the structure of the game. The playing is the practice. Breathing through the fear we open ourselves to criticism and to the scarier possibility of self-revelation. We fear our own incompetence. We sense our own spiritual impotence. We circle our flaws in black magic marker and hang them on the sidewalk for all to see. In doing so we add one more voice to the soundtrack of evolution. We raise the bar one notch. We carry tradition into the present and create the trajectory for future expression. We tell our stories so we can know ourselves. As we normalize our outlandishness we create a safer world for the ones who otherwise wouldn't fit in. Keep going.

W.

G'bye Alfred

Last night was the final performance of Alfred Kinsey: A Love Story at the Michael Weller Theater. It's always sad to close a show, but I remind myself of something I heard a veteran actor at the Actor's Gang in LA say once: "I've been in hits. I've been in flops. They all close." Indeed.

Right after the show playwright Mike Folie introduced me to the lovely Miriam Hecht. Miriam had known the real Dr. Kinsey when he came to New York in 1942. She was among the first to give Kinsey her sex history, and helped introduce him to other candidates, as well as providing introductions to New York's gay community. After providing the Kinsey team with over 100 people to interview, Miriam ran afoul of the administrators at Hunter College where she was in attendance. Herman Wells, then president of Indiana University, came to her defense with "a soothing letter about science." I was especially honored when Ms. Hecht told me how well I had captured the famous Doctor's "little laugh".

From my perspective the show was a smashing success. And I don't say that just because I was in it. I've done some very earnest work that was, at the last, mediocre. But this show was different. It accomplished what any play could hope to accomplish given the restrictions of time and money that are always looming over the process: it fulfilled the playwright's vision. That is the only true test in creating new work. Friends will always be supportive, and critics are just another person's opinion. But if the production comes close to capturing the vision of the creator, then I say job well done. (For a great review of the show, check out the Gay City News.)

A huge debt of thanks to director George Craig for guiding me on this journey. Also, to my fellow cast members Melinda Wade, Jessica Dickey, and Carter Roy - I fell in love with each of you. Thanks for sharing your talent. See you on campus.

Wayne